Novelists Who Can't Write Sex: Silent EWD Sufferers?

There’s an old saying: “Write about what you know.” What if you know it but can’t for the life of you, write it?

The shortlist for the annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award for the most awkward description of an intimate encounter has been revealed. [1]

If ever there were a list that I could of, should of, ended up in a top slot, this is it. Of course this would only apply if I actually had a book published. But I digress.

As a novice fiction writer, my story would unfold upon the pages with ease but then hit the “brick wall” of the inevitable intimate encounter.

After trying to write my character’s intimate encounter scenes from every conceivable angle I came to the realization that for some reason, I suffer from EWD, or Erotica Writing Dysfunction.

Now in its 14th year, the prize is awarded by Literary Review magazine in an attempt to discourage authors from writing such accounts.

This "award" goes to those who have actually managed to write a story and get it published. Unfortunately these poor writers who have been nominated were either under the illusion that the intimate encounter or sex scene in their story was a great piece of fiction or they had their fingers crossed and hoped no one would notice.

I labor under no such illusion. Not only is it excruciatingly hard for me to even pull a coherent erotica scene together using words, the end result is always silly, wooden, (pardon the pun) or mechanical.

The winner will be announced at a ceremony in London on Tuesday where nominated passages will be read out by actresses.

Previous winners of the bad sex prize include AA Gill, Sebastian Faulks and Tom Wolfe. Wolfe was one of the few who declined to receive his award in person.

Is Wolfe another silent sufferer of EWD? Let only those who can write a great sex scene throw the first missive.

Source - [1] - BBC News
Image - Love Spell

By LBG



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