
Megan Meier's MySpace Suicide story sparked a host of reactions and then, reactions to those reactions.
It's been ten days since the Megan Meier MySpace suicide story came over the horizon into the public's perception. It's a story with many twists and turns to it. It continues to twist still.
It was first published in the St. Charles (MO) Suburban Journal and picked up here several hours later. We wrote it up immediately for Bloggers News Network (BNN). Although it was reported by a few other blogs within hours, that's pretty much where it stood for a day.
By the weekend however it had grown into a hurricane of reactions: shock, disbelief, anger, but outrage seemed the most common.
MySpace Suicide - Initial Reactions
The story is a disturbing one, as any teen suicide would be, brought about when 13-year-old Megan Meier, who'd battled depression, was harassed by her online boy friend, Josh Evans. After a particularly nasty note from Josh, and some piling on by his friends, a distraught Megan hung herself.
It was another sad story of a sadder teen committing, to parents involved, the saddest act of all.
What made this teen suicide story different, was the discovery that Josh was a hoax crafted by a family who lived down the street from the Meier family. The hoax was a reaction to their daughter and Megan having a falling out.
Neighbor against neighbor in suburbia. Adults stalking teens online. Another Internet 'underbelly of the beast' in the form of popular social site, MySpace.
We'd finished our sixth story in four days when Megan's mother and father, Ron and Tina, appeared on CNN. The story gathered momentum from there and interest is still high, if comments and emails written are any guide.
By the weekend, the story had changed from Megan. It was now the story of "Megan as an illustration". What kind of illustration seemed to depend on what particular cause the writer was espousing.
There was the "Internet was Evil" reaction, with the tragedy held up as the latest proof. Government types were quick to point out "There ought to be a law". Against the largely-unregulated Internet, and the really scary place that was MySpace.
More common reactions were sorrow for Megan and her family; disgust and outrage that she was stalked by adults who knew her. Even more disgust and outrage was heaped upon the hoaxers when it was related that Megan's parents had destroyed a foosball table they'd been storing for their daughter's tormentors--and the mother filed charges against the Meier parents.
Reactions to the Reactions
The rage reached a crescendo over the lack of legal recourse for the Meier parents.
The storm then shifted over the identities of the perpetrators. Who was this heartless bunch? The Suburban Journal hadn't named them in the original story "out of concern for their daughter. As ABC News reported it a couple of days ago, Police Cite 'Air of Vigilantism' In Response to Girl's Suicide:
But that hasn't stopped an outpouring of hostility against her, both online and in the real world. The story hit the national media late last week, with Megan's parents appearing on Good Morning America and the Today show. Though the newspapers and networks declined to identify the real-life "Josh Evans," bloggers quickly outed her and posted her family's name, address and phone number online.
Actually, it was
readers who posted names and phone numbers--and large numbers of them, apparently many from Dardenne Prairie, a small suburb of St. Louis.
The networks and larger media wouldn't report the identities of the Drews at first, but before the weekend was over, they were all over the story of angry neighbors.
Since then, messages threatening the family have been posted online. A brick was thrown through their window. Someone drove a truck over their front lawn, according to police. A paint-ball was shot against the house.
The woman, who also has a young daughter, has received threatening phone calls; people have screamed obscenities as they drive by the house, a neighbor said. Police descended on the house in the middle of the night last week, neighbors said, after an apparent fake 911 call was made.
Police are concerned that the harassment, first reported by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, may escalate.
"We believe that all the publicity about this situation has led to an air of vigilantism," said Lt. Craig McGuire of the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department. "We're concerned people will take things into their own hands."
A Few Observations
Newspapers who have no compunction with publishing the names of secretaries and coal miners arrested for drunk driving; or of the boy next door arrested for having marijuana in his car, were concerned about publishing the identity of cyber-bullies who'd harassed a teen for six weeks.
Traditional media never wavers in its commitment to "the public's right to know" about the teacher after two beers, the paperboy's stash or the questionable past of a presidential candidate's friend. But this story triggered their sensibilities--for awhile.
Newspapers of all sizes fret over plummeting circulation while TV Networks watch their rating spiral down.
Traditional Media RelentsBut then the networks and papers
did report the names of Curt and Lori Drew, the parents behind the hoax.
After turning up their noses at bloggers publishing the names (in our case after readers repeatedly posted the information to our stories), traditional media began reporting that very same information they had initially been reluctant to supply.
There was a reaction to this, of course. One was supplied by the LA Times, "
How to Punish a Cyber-Bully":
This week -- more than a year after Megan Meier's death -- the names of the neighbors were finally disclosed in published accounts. The disclosure was largely the result of pressure from bloggers, who do not feel bound by the rules of mainstream newspapers and networks and who have been meting out their own form of Internet justice. The neighbors are Lori and Curt Drew, according to news reports.
The Drews' daughter was certainly dealt a bad hand by her parents. However, the media puts itself on a slippery slope when it starts to protect accused wrongdoers on behalf of their progeny, offering a free pass for alleged predators who procreate.
It seems clear that the Drews did not want to kill Megan or even hurt her physically. They are not the first to be grotesquely transformed by a new technology that offers easy availability and anonymity to its users. Yet, if cyber-traps are to be deterred, there must be avenues to guarantee both forms of private relief and public record.
Reaction at Death By 1000 PapercutsReaction at DBKP was mixed.
At first, it was feared that this story would be another one lost in the shuffle: a tragedy unnoticed. When we were contacted by Fox News a few days after our original story, we no longer thought that would be the case.
This feeling was confirmed when readers from all over the world showed up to read the stories here.
After we'd deleted the 10th comment--for posting only the Drew's personal info and nothing else--we pointed out that scorn and humiliation were effective remedies for the apparent lack of legal recourse.
We also pointed out that a worse punishment was that the Drews had to live the rest of their lives with the knowledge of what their hoax had caused. If remoresless, they would live the rest of their lives as themselves: the worst of all possible punishments in our eyes.
When we received emails deploring the public's outpouring of outrage as a "witch hunt", we agreed that any resorts to violence were completely out of line. But we refused to take the view of treating the Drews as victims. In our eyes, they were only victims of their own mean-spirited actions.
A Few ConclusionsThe calls for more laws and regulations to bind the Internet are incorrect. No law or increased regulation would likely have stopped this hoax from happening. More stringent regulations might, however, have stopped some bloggers from reporting it as accurately as they did.
Regulations will never protect humans from the effects of evil human nature. They will only make us feel better until the next time an outrageous act is committed.
It is bizarre for newspapers to fret over publishing the names of cruel hoaxers who--in the words of one commenter--"acted in the manner of sexual predators". Those same newspapers are full of stories, revealing complete personal details, of people
charged--not convicted--with any multitude of transgressions: DUI, minor drug possession, speeding tickets.
The story of those charges later being dropped doesn't seem to excite the same level of journalistic interest, however.
Megan's story really won't matter; some writers will bend it to fit their preconceived point of view. It'll not be about Megan to them: it'll be about using her as a tool to advance their cause.
Laws for regulating the Internet; for stricter controls on what can be said online; to raise money; that any negative reactions are 'vigilantism'; for more money for suicide prevention: take your pick.
They'll all invoke the name and story of Megan Meier. To most of those, she'll cease to be a 13-year-old schoolgirl: she'll be a slogan.
The last conclusion is the one we hope readers would take away with them. That is: that the story of Megan Meier is about Megan Meier and her family. About the tragedy that is the grievous loss of a child.
About how she lived and died and how her parents struggled to cope with the aftermath.
Used as a precautionary tale, the sad story of Megan Meier might prevent another story like hers from happening.
Long after the reaction has died down, it can be hoped that the story of Megan Meier inspires a prayer for her and her parents.
by MondorebMore on the Megan Meier MySpace Suicide:
MySpace Suicide: The Megan Meier Story - videoMySpace Suicide:
Megan Meier's Story May Prevent OthersCNN Interview with Megan's ParentsMySpace Suicide Reaction:
Outrage! Outrage! Outrage!
MySpace Cruel Prank Leads To Teen’s Suicide

Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.
You are absolutely unbelievable. An absolute piece of work. I hope you spend the rest of your life alone and destitute.
December 3, 2007 11:29 AM
I hope someday you realize that you instigated this situation. Your post did nothing but convince people that you are ruthless and immature. You hurt someone. And she was so hurt that she ended her life. One of my family members committed suicide, and it is something that I will never cope with. It's not a car accident, it's not cancer....someone was so SAD and helpless that they took their own life. You need to realize that you pushed someone that was vulnerable!
December 3, 2007 11:29 AM
Having conversations that were sexual for a 13 year old? How is that monitoring for cyberbulling?
GODDAMN YOU I AM SO SICK OF THIS LIE! I didn't engage in anything sexual. Megan tried to initiate sex talk and I backed away from it. I NEVER ENGAGED IN ANYTHING LIKE THAT. So stop spreading this lie.
December 3, 2007 11:29 AM
It's not fair to put that on me. I didn't know Megan would kill herself. No one suspected Megan would kill herself. If you blame me then you have to blame Megan's parents, too. They were closer to Megan. THEY WERE HER PARENTS. And she still managed to kill herself. What does that say? Does it say they're bad parents, too? No. It says that no one could have predicted Megan's suicide. Not Tina, not Ron, not me.
Lori, a drunken driver does not intentionally set out to kill a carload of prom going teens. He is just driving home. That doesn't make him any less responsible.
December 3, 2007 11:29 AM
GODDAMN YOU I AM SO SICK OF THIS LIE! I didn't engage in anything sexual. Megan tried to initiate sex talk and I backed away from it. I NEVER ENGAGED IN ANYTHING LIKE THAT. So stop spreading this lie.
Heavy makeout sessions? Not a lie, honey. You may not want to see it this way...but it doesn't change what it was.
December 3, 2007 11:31 AM
Okay--place the suicide completely aside for now.
You baited and misled a depressed 13-year-old for weeks, eventually culminating in an emotional collapse.
Murderer? No, you're a torturer.
December 3, 2007 11:31 AM
Fine, you didn't mean to kill her? Do drunk drivers mean to kill people?
It doesn't matter if your malicious intent was to just make her miserable or to push her off the edge, you still did it. Show some regret you heartless woman.
December 3, 2007 11:32 AM
You not only victimized a girl who is the same age as your own daughter, you victimized someone who you KNEW was suffering from mental illness. What's wrong with you???? You are a child abuser...I just have to wonder how innocent your daughter really is, was she being bullied by other CHILDREN, was she an innocent victim, or does she take after you? Kids have a way of working out their differences for themselves, it's a part of growing up....are you going to fight all her battles for her, pick her husband for her, sleep with him too? You are a dangerous woman and no child should ever be allowed near you...including your own! The high school called Mrs Drew, they want their robe back..your youth is over, you can't get it back living through your daughter!
December 3, 2007 11:32 AM
One of my family members committed suicide, and it is something that I will never cope with. It's not a car accident, it's not cancer....someone was so SAD and helpless that they took their own life.
I'm very sorry for your loss, but you have to understand that Megan suffered from clinical depression for which she took medication. Her depression wasn't psychological, it was chemical. That means there is truly no way to know WHY she killed herself. Maybe it was the final myspace comments. Maybe it was her own mother ignoring her. Maybe she skipped her medication recently. Maybe that FDA warning that anti-depressants can have suicidal effects on children and teens should have come out a couple of months earlier. You can't place blame on others when someone commits suicide.
December 3, 2007 11:33 AM
Lori, a drunken driver does not intentionally set out to kill a carload of prom going teens. He is just driving home. That doesn't make him any less responsible.
Bingo.
Do you want the world to stop hating you?
Apologize, instead of defending yourself through pointing the blame at a 13-year-old. Apologize to the Meiers. Admit that you were wrong, horribly, terribly wrong, and that had you acted like an adult, none of this would have happened.
That's a start.
December 3, 2007 11:35 AM
You baited and misled a depressed 13-year-old for weeks, eventually culminating in an emotional collapse.
DID YOU NOT READ THE PART WHERE I TRIED TO LET HER DOWN EASY? You don't know it was an emotional collapse. No one can know why Megan killed herself. Maybe it was the myspace comments. Maybe it was the cold reaction from her own parents. Maybe it was her medication. YOU DON'T KNOW SO STOP PUTTING IT ON ME.
December 3, 2007 11:35 AM
Lori, you are delusional. You've spent six weeks trying to come up with a way to justify your sociopathic, vindictive behavior, and this is the best you can do?
Lame. Just plain lame.
It's all lies; delusional lies that you tell yourself so that you can sleep at night. You're mad at the world? Is that what you said? And to retaliate against the world, you right a blog called "Megan Had It Coming" and you call the child a slut?
Lame, lame, lame.
You really are a child predator. They always blame the victim, too. "That two year old SEDUCED ME. I had no choice but to molest her."
Megan was posting annonymous stuff through OTHER PEOPLES blogs? But you JUST KNEW IT WAS HER?? She's a demon seed....she's a slut...she's a BAD GIRL!
You are a deviant.
Have a shitty rest of your life. And your little dog, too.
December 3, 2007 11:35 AM
Letting her down easy would have been to just say, sorry, can't be friends anymore, or sorry, I'm moving away, or to just delete the account altogether. Instead, you had to be mean about it.
I don't think you intended to let her down easy at all.
December 3, 2007 11:36 AM
You can't be this stupid....really.
December 3, 2007 11:37 AM
a drunken driver does not intentionally set out to kill a carload of prom going teens. He is just driving home. That doesn't make him any less responsible.
This isn't like driving drunk. It's not even close. I worked to PROTECT MY DAUGHTER FROM A CYBER BULLY. There's was no way to know that Megan would kill herself. None. Not even the Meiers could predict or prevent it and they were HER PARENTS.
I'm not a murderer.
December 3, 2007 11:37 AM
What could have possibly possessed you to start this blog? I realize that you have serious mental problems, but where is your husband or your lawyer?
Is there no function adult in your life who is there to tell you how entirely ill-advised this blog is?
December 3, 2007 11:37 AM
First!
December 3, 2007 11:37 AM
I'm very sorry for your loss, but you have to understand that Megan suffered from clinical depression for which she took medication. Her depression wasn't psychological, it was chemical. That means there is truly no way to know WHY she killed herself. Maybe it was the final myspace comments. Maybe it was her own mother ignoring her. Maybe she skipped her medication recently. Maybe that FDA warning that anti-depressants can have suicidal effects on children and teens should have come out a couple of months earlier. You can't place blame on others when someone commits suicide.
You admit you knew she was depressed. How sad for you.
Lori, you aren't helping. Say sorry to them! Say sorry to your family. Say you are sorry to Ashley.
It is wrong, and she is gone. You didn't delete the account after it got sexual. You didn't do it. You didn't walk away. You kept going.
You are modeling this behavior for your very impressionable daughter. Teach her to own up to her mistakes. Be a good mom, and show her how you can take responsibility for her words and deeds. Be a good mom, and show your daughter the right way to do it.
December 3, 2007 11:38 AM